We Are Our Own Worst Enemies
by
Darla Dahlstrom
Good news and bad news....
The
good news is that a would-be novelist joined one
of the online forums I belong to in order to do
researching on cross-dressing for a novel where
the protagonist happens to be a crossdresser --
someone who was fired when he was outed, but who
has the huevos to stay in town and carry on with
his life.
The
writer, call him Philip, was open about his
intentions, when it would have been really easy
to fake a profile and present himself as a
newbie. He doesn't make crossdressing the
centerpiece, rather just an interesting aspect
of the protagonist (the focus will be on the
character's professional life, and he just
happens to cross-dress). Philip had a few
misperceptions, which we corrected, and seems
genuinely interested and respectful. In fact, he
said he's rewriting some things in light what he
now understands.
We
did let him know that a crossdresser who's out
like that is pretty atypical (although Lacey
Leigh was recently outted by a business rival
and received quite respectfully a conference for
her industry, where were her guy self was well
known). But I'd rather have an unrealistically
open and well-adjusted crossdresser than the
unrealistic media portrayals we usually see.
Unfortunately a few members of the forum freaked
out at having a non-CD/SO visitor and made some
rather immature and prejudiced comments to
Philip, insinuating he was a purvey voyeur,
which prompted Philip to leave despite the forum
owner making it clear he'd been admitted with
her blessing and support. *sigh*
He
does plan on keeping in touch with those of us
who are interested, and even offered to let us
read his drafts to see if we have suggestions.
I've got no idea is he's any good as a writer,
or whether the novel will ever see the light of
day, but one can hope.
It
just pisses me off that some of the people who
bitch and moan the most about how we aren't
accepted in general public were the same ones
who drove this guy away. If they can't handle
posting on an anonymous forum because there was
an invited guest there doing research, God help
them find the door knob to the closet and face
the public at-large.
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Jenna
Taylor said...
Darla, I can share that
perspective. I was out for a Saturday
en femme fest and was spotted by a
coworker at he "all night " diner.
Four days later I was sent packing.
Now, I chose to stay in these here
parts. I do run the risk of family and
other friends finding out. Not too
worried. It did spread like wild fire
in my profession and got back to other
places I had worked. To which, some of
my other former coworkers know my
family, etc.
If any
additonal input is requested from him,
I'd be willing to share. I look at it
as a positive thing for me. I was
going nowhere fast. now I'm going
somewhere , slow! |
Brielle
Echo Whitney said...
This, I suppose, is why I remain an
independent entrepreneur... I an
relate to the horror, and don't want
it obviously to come bite me on the
ass... I could do much better with a
few dollars more, but my ability to
"range freely" over the past 10 years
or so has precluded my wanting to work
in a setting of social bees... Bri
needs to exist, and I in an "afraid"
sense, continue to be an entrepreneur
as a result...
401k's be
damned at this point...
I need to
figure a better gameplan... BUT
finding that we all struggle & come to
the idea of fuck them is always
enlightening... you're stories bolster
my resolve to continue that which
simply is... and to know that I'm NOT
alone in the quest for wholeness...;D
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