I am sorry here but I fail to see the shock I could provide to society by attending any local support group. Would marching on a gay pride parade help at all? Maybe it does... but looking closely, there is little in there that even remotely looked like prude and loving. So much for that, unless...

The population at large is also way too familiar with the common term "transsexual". Shouldn't it read "transgendered" instead? Just remove the "sex" and "sexual" in the term and people in general will have a much different opinion of the phenomenon. It's all about perceptions isn't.

Day after day I strive to provide constructive ways to help people and ideas to move forward, yet here, I'm speechless. I personally do not think any type of measurable change will come in our lifetime but like the other optimists in the group, I wish very strongly that it does. These types of changes usually spans generations. Homosexuality has been at it for centuries, yet, they're just breaking through the ice. I just hope to see noticeable change in "my" humble lifetime.

About 10 years ago I saw this French Canadian film about the journey of a transsexual into womanhood called "le sexe des etoiles" (translate into "the sex of the stars"). It was kinda boring, had local actors and was low budget but it still managed to make me cry though for the issues that it covered. I'm doubtful the other 5 attendees that were in the cinema at the same time as me felt even close to this. As you might have guessed it was never picked up by a major film studio either, for the "American-ised" version...

I'm all for unity but let's face it, we're a minority!. Unless we all follow Boy George, RuPaul and Michael Jackson (oops I meant Janet, of course) foot steps and sing "I will survive" in perfect harmony or appear in Priscilla Queen of the Desert part 2, we're bound to have very little air time.

The TV show idea from a few weeks ago made ponder quite a bit, but I digress.

I fail to see what could be done in the short term that could have significant impact.

We are also a far stretch away from the so called logical position society is imposing on us. Any down to earth woman will tell you boldly that you do NOT need to put on makeup and a skirt to show warmth, love and compassion, to name only a few feminine traits. But crossdressing goes beyond that and I for one refuse to be categorized by anyone as to my own motives and reasons for dressing as the opposite sex. I have the given right to say "because I LIKE IT, I NEED IT"... period.

I'll stand in unity to say this anytime.

And lastly, as much as I get your wittiness on the drum rolls at the end, I can't resist stating that even the UN flag is no match for the scope of this never ending beyond-universal battle. *wink*

So what is it really, roll call or role call?

But it's so difficult. We have jobs, positions in society, wives or partners, children...oh god, how do I tell my teenage children...and so much else. Off course none of this is an excuse because, let's face it, the Gay/Lesbian movement had to contend with all or most of those same issues and the Feminist movement had to contend with similar issues.

I don't believe joining a Support Group will helps us achieve our aims of being accepted by society, although it certainly does help in terms of providing solidarity in general and support for those who need it.

We have to do something...and it will take a huge effort, commitment and sacrifice...to make society understand that we're normal and have a valuable place and role in society. Currently society thinks that we're one of the following:

- sexual deviants and/or perverts

- shemale prostitutes

- gay drag queens

- transexuals

And off course provided you substitute "alternate kinky" for "sexual deviant/pervert", then there is nothing wrong with any of those descriptions that society attaches to us. But we are so much more. We are transgendered firstly, which as you all know has nothing to do with sex or sexual activity...but that's not what society thinks.

My transgenderism is in fact respected and valued both at a personal relationship level (wife, kids and friends), but also at a business-level. I approach people and strategic problems from an angle that no-one else does...because I think both as a woman and as a man.

I say my transgenderism is respected and valued...but here's the rub...none of the people I generally interact with know that I'm transgendered. So imagine what a positive impact I'd have on us as transgendered if the people I interacted with knew that I was transgendered. It would change their perspective totally. And if all of us did that, well then eventually we'd change society's perspective.

But we have to be prepared to stand up and be counted. And most or all of us have so much to lose or risk at a personal level. So how do we change this? I have no idea...well at the moment I have no idea.

What I am doing is that when I go out en femme, I spread positive messages by acting like a normal person...which off course I am. I can see that those who I've come in contact with have had their eyes opened and they now have an understanding, respect and acceptance for transgendered people. How many people am I talking about? Smallish number...maybe 10 people in a very direct sense over the past 6 months, and maybe a 100 who've seen me in clubs or restaurants. Small number, not enough and not fast enough...but it is a start.

To succeed we will however have to mount a concerted, focused, strategized campaign similar to that done by the gay/lesbian and feminist movements. And we'll have to be brave and prepared to make sacrifices.

I know I'm not ready to do that...but I'm getting there. And I know we all need to do that...come out publicly and insist on acceptance and our rights in this society.

You are right Jenna...it's Roll Call time.

Jenna Taylor said...  Allo Arianne, After reading your reply, I see your position. Yet let me bring some points to light.

1.) You need not shock anyone. Although your beauty will turn heads. Attending a support group is just meeting others, our peers whether its at a meeting /hotel room for discussion or as I have established in the Baltimore Washington area, an Events group. Where local girls can post, like GenderEvolve and see if anyone else is heading out. Now, every Friday evening at a local club, the Hippo, you can find at least 1/2 dozen TGirls sometimes 15! out for a night of dancing.

2.) Your wish is coming true. More and more, the mainstream is using the term Transgendered. Whether it is because they think it more P.C. or whether they do not truly understand the meaning. Either way, the word is being used. If you noticed my web site, I refer to myself as transgendered. I remove as much "crossdressing" references and replace it with simply "dressing".

3.) Help is on the way! I recognize your sincere wishes for change. I understand your pessimism on change occurring in the near term. However, although homosexuality has been around for centuries, you are viewing its North American acceptance in context to modern Western civilization. Modern Western civilization took prominence in the 16th century. Puritanistic values prevailed versus less rigid views in Eastern cultures. Prior Western civilizations, Roman and Greek embraced homosexuality. So the contemporary gay movement you see has truly made its strides in one generation. Starting with the Stonewall movement. Plus their trailblazing has made it easier for the feminist movement only a few short years later, and now for ours.

4.) Sundance. Sundance is but one media movement bringing to light the stories of independent film makers. "le sexe des etoiles" is exactly the style of film being support at Production companies today. Indies are hot. We need to push as much thoughts and ideas out through groups like Sundance as we can. Grassroots is needed, yet the portal to mainstream is key. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

5.) Your most important point you made. "I for one refuse to be categorized by anyone as to my own motives and reasons for dressing as the opposite sex. I have the given right to say "because I LIKE IT, I NEED IT"... period." That is the essence of our movement. I could not have said it any better. Somehow, others not in the transgendered life, seek understanding and some wish to provide empathy. Empathy come from an understanding of experiences of others, not sharing the same experiences. I can have empathy for a woman that goes through child birth, having been there during the birth of my 3 children and seeing the struggles of their mother. And from the physical pains I have personally suffered and can tie the two together. We need to "paint the picture", show the emotion behind it, and allow others outside of the movement to "take ownership" of our situation. Selling 101. We need to take them to the left side of their brains. Where all the emotion is played out. Many of them, our wives and girlfriends, went from the left side to the right side as soon as we came out to them. They tried to reason it out with logic (Some would say "Enter a fight while unarmed") LOL. Enlightenment

Yes, its both a roll call and a role call. We call have our roles to play in life. Are you up for the challenge of this role?

The on-line principle is also good for those who seek that information. But again, us helping us. How do we bring the information outside the circle? This is the question.

Where I do not see the point is where this applies to the general public at large. They also need to be educated and they are just not attending that support group meeting. LOL!!! I'm certain any normal woman would be more than understanding to see a TG in the woman's restrooms at the local mall if they saw us for who we really are.

As soon as you talk about everybody else, our image has been mediatised in all the wrong ways so much that the general population almost sees us as circus attractions more than the caring, loving person that we all are. There is this prime time TV show here that is all about drag queens and the TG world (or so it seemed). http://www.radio-canada.ca/television/cover_girl/ In the first few months of air time, the show was practically boycotted by the local TG community because it was personifying us in all the wrong ways, i.e. as being gay, entertainers, prostitutes and taking drugs. The new seasons ahead look more promising but is due to the outrage of the CD and TV community that even made headlines. Yes, there is hope.

On the silver screen, of course we need more films that deals with the true TG issues. The problem with this is that they just don't sell. In those who did, we are again portrayed as entertainers.

I would have thought that SCC be more mediatised than this. Maybe it's just me not finding the information but I'd be curious to know your thoughts on this.

Then there is this natural aversion we get from some people. Like us, they are a minority but they are the type that hurt us the most. Just last night I came across an email in Dana Lange's group about such typical homophobe. His message, that made whatever little hair I have left rise up, read:

> You're a normal guy who has invented a new way of getting in the girl's locker room, and maybe into a girl's panties. I don't see girl in you at all. It's bordering on insanity that the forces > of 'diversity' are using the authority of the STATE to force everyone who works for the university who employs you to put up with this nonsense.

> DAVID

This character type will always be around, just like Bubba. He's the one who need to attend a group meeting. ;o)

So yes indeed, we are on a very long journey, and I think I'm up for the challenge because it is a very big one at that. Whatever I can do to make this world a better place I will do without hesitation. But like Dee mentioned, some of us may have a hard time in the process because of the personal implications this duality encompass. We're not all ready to expose this to our young children and our boss.

Rock on.

Jenna Taylor said... Arianne, great points. Not to worry, I don't see you as a pessimist. Just pessimistic on change in the near future! And that ok, because that's your perception.

I learned along time ago that,

PERCEIVED TRUTH = TRUE TRUTH

If someone's perception is x, then to them x =reality.

This hold's true to the general public. And that is what we must change. How do you do this? First we must educate each other, in order to build our fractured and closeted community into a union of spirits. Not all of the same mold, yet bonded by a singular thread. Build and nurture the community. This before we ever dare take the message to the streets!

Dana Lange's "admirer" named David, is a perfect example of perception = equals reality( No this is not a math class.) To him, Dana is a man looking to join the "girl's club" or worse. Just another way for a guy to sneak into the girl's locker room. Hmm, which movie was THAT from? The fact of the matter, Dana is a woman. Dana, chromosomally is male based on the XY factor. This does not change the fact that she is female gendered. So David could never understand her situation.

Yet, let us not forget. David has EVERY right to judge us. Yes, that's what I said. He has every right to judge us. Because it's his judgment. And how do we make judgments? Based on our own personal knowledge and experiences. THAT IS WHAT WE NEED TO CHANGE.

Public knowledge, and through which, public experiences.

Lets bind the community together to sing in unison, so we may let the rest of the world hear our song.

We can affect change. The road is long. The path will be unclear at times. We face enemies along the way. ( No, not Bush, Rumsfeld or Chaney silly) I have seen the enemy and the enemy is....

Arianne, I love you very much and value your insight. I am truly looking forward to meeting in Atlanta. I am a firm believer that there are no misconceptions, face to face. The eyes always give you away.

Miranda Skye said... Hi Jenna, I think your perceptions on "perception" are spot on!!! (I LOVE this stuff).

For anyone that HASN'T seen this movie (out on DVD now) ..... I would suggest giving it a view. It's a mind blowing journey on the repercussions of "perception" and may turn victims of circumstance into "doers of circumstance".

http://www.whatthebleep.com/

Just a resource that encompasses all my philosophies that I thought I could share.

Have fun at the SCC everybody ........ it is my wife's perception that I remain in the closet a bit longer ... oops!

Before we can take our message to the world, it needs to first be determined exactly what is "the cause"? Who are we and what do we represent? And who are we not? We come from all walks of life, all around the world, what is the glue that holds us together? Before we can "represent", we have to decide who and what we are representing. What is our position? What defines us? Without this, we can't even begin any strategic directed movement because we ourselves don't know where we're going.

The movement must begin with the formation of guiding principles that proponents of the movement can support (manifesto, mission, principle, doctrine, directives, etc). Solidarity can only come with a solid definition of purpose. There is a need to redefine transwomen, and differentiate you as a distinct group apart from the other groups who may resemble or impersonate you.

There are at least three points I think need to be strongly promoted:

1) Transwomen love women and femininity

If the women of the world could see how much you support us, how could we not embrace you? The reality is, we have no idea that you even exist! You are like Peter Pan to us. Visible groups who crossdress (ie: drag queens) do not love us, and in some ways they are ridiculing us. Other groups (ie: shemale pornstars) are abusing our feminine charms and demeaning the image of women. You are the opposite of those groups in the sense that you actually LOVE us! You respect us, you strive to do credit to our image and support our causes. We don't know about your special kind because you are mostly closeted. I was floored at the discovery of you, like finding some windfall stash of rare diamonds that no one else knows about.

2) Transgenderism is not a sexual orientation

While I applaud the effort of the gay/lesbian/bisexual movement to include transgenderism, in some ways the GLBT movement has promoted the view the TG is a sexual orientation. Even the most free-spirited liberal people out there might not realize this critical point of distinction. We need to erase the notion that conclusions can be drawn about sexual orientation based on gender identity. No such relationship exists, as TG people come in every type of orientation that ordinary people do.

3) Transgenderism is neither a mental disorder nor a fetish

Psychologists are working from the premise that only the above two choices are possible. The transperson who is happy and comfortable with their duality is not recognized. No one has properly defined the duality as a gift, which to those who can freely express themselves, it is. The pain/grief of the duality is often only a result of social repression and negative external consequences, not the duality itself. If you were able to just be yourselves, many of you would rejoice and celebrate your duality as a gift.

Yes Jenna, I wholeheartedly agree, it's "Time to storm the beaches, fight for liberty, all in the name of others, so that future generations may exist in peace, free from tyranny." It's just a matter of formulating a strategic approach, a roadmap for solidarity... so let's get started!

I'm not so sure about this part tho = (As the Battle Hymn of the Republic plays on with the unfurling of the American Flag!) LOL!! Too funny! Can't we at least get our own song and flag??

Our new theme song? (to the tune of "Battle Hymn")

(with the drums and fifes sounding stronger as they come over the hill)

Mine eyes have seen the glory of our gender on the rise,

With some hidden in the shadows and some "out" before our eyes

We will show them we are special with our kindness, no surprise.

Our truth goes marching on.

Gender! Gender! Hallelujah!

Gender! Gender! Hallelujah!

Gender! Gender! Hallelujah!

Our truth goes marching on.

We'll be educating others with a brilliant shining smile,

In hope that they wont judge us, 'til in our shoes they've walked a mile,

With inner strength and lots of patience, gently prodding all the while.

Our truth goes marching on.

Gender! Gender! Hallelujah!

Gender! Gender! Hallelujah!

Gender! Gender! Hallelujah!

Our truth goes marching on.